Category Archive: Metaphysical


Femrything Bagel

Ellen Hassen was a 1960’s radical feminist, notable for her periodic references to the everything bagel and her judicial activism later in life. Her interspersed everything bagel references have often been overlooked by theorists due to the obvious biases present elsewhere in her worldview, but nonetheless her comments and in particular her unfinished quote are …

Continue reading »


Eberya Ting Bager

It was during President Obama’s March 2009 stimulus of over one trillion dollars that MIT Professor of Mathematical Metaphysics Ting Xiaojing Ting received over twenty million dollars in largely unrecorded grants to address the Gregford Gordon Corollary through the application of modern science. While the ensuing scandal called into question Professor Ting’s research, the pattern …

Continue reading »


The Gregford Gordon Corollary

Over the years scholars hotly debated the Cummings theory surrounding the paradox of the Everything Bagel. No significant headway was made until  the mid1980′s, when Gregford Gordon burst on the Everything Bagel scene. Until that point, Gordon had tread a difficult road professionally. He had been a silent partner in the initial funding of Apple …

Continue reading »


Wilfred C. Cummings and The Hole of Everything

  “If God should speak, it would be through the hole of the everything bagel.” – Wilfred C. Cummings (1873-1929) It is known that Wilfred C. Cummings uttered this mysterious phrase upon his daughters birth the day he returned from Europe in May 1914.  The inspiration and meaning behind the quote, left largely unexplained by …

Continue reading »